APR 20 (2020), political palindromes, K - M

GETTING TESTED: A Limerick-Based Handbook on MEDICAL TESTING

coaster from a medical school reunion

SATIRE COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio and Dr. GH, March 2020.  

Those readers with a medical bent might want to click to review earlier poetic collections by our intrepid pair of writers, as tabulated (with links) at the end of this post:

Hello! I'm your social distancing trainer!

 

CURRENT CONTENTS:
Medical tests (introduction)

True positive rate (sensitivity)

False positive rate

Screening

Back to normal

Controlled trials 

Imaginary clinical trial: "A gram of prevention" (a brief saga)

 

\

EPILOGUE: With respect to false-positive testing for COVID-19, this anecdote may be enlightening ... 

 Authors' Note: The conclusion of this imaginary placebo-controlled trial of magic in the prevention and treatment of ILLS can be stated as follows:

Parenteral administration of a low dose (1 gram) was found uniformly effective in prevention. For oral treatment of later established cases, the dosage requirement was found to be higher by a factor of 16 times (95% confidence interval: 9 — 25).

The above conclusion could, with inherent limitations of proportionality, be converted back to older units (as spoofed on the OEDILF site by Giri): "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

(Note that the five verses of this "brief saga" can be found in more easily legible format on our working blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense"; click HERE.) 

Here's a LIST OF LINKS to collections of intriguing poems (over 160 of these!) on medical/dental topics that can now be found on various posts. 

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR WEB-EXPLORERS: 

To resume daily titillations on our related blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense", click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 to the present. (As of June 2024, there are about 1400 unique entries available on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on "Edifying Nonsense" in topic-based collections.) The 'Daily' format also has the advantage of including some song-lyrics, videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.

Lyrics for Singable Satire: NOVEL MELODIES FOR LIMERICKS

 Song Medley with Adapted Limerick Verses

ORIGINAL SONGS: as per links to our blog 'Silly Songs and Satire'.
LINKED LIMERICK MEDLEYS: Lyrics by Giorgio Coniglio set to the music of the indicated songs, mostly shown in previous blogposts.
SATIRE COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio (registered pseudonym), March 2017. Note that updated hotlinks are given for subsequent posts using these new musical adaptations.

SONGLINK: The eight singable versions of the classic Nantucket limerick can be accessed in "Silly Songs and Satire" by clicking HERE.

NOVEL MELODIES for SINGING LIMERICKS

1. "WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW" (Carole King, 1960)

Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly.
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes.
Will you still love me to-morrow?

Limerick Adaptation (No changes from original tune needed)
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket,
Til his daughter named Nan / ran away with a man
And as for the bucket – Nan took it.

Hotlink to "Singable Limerick-Medley #26: "FROM COASTAL CAROLINA" 


2. "SUMMERTIME" (George Gershwin, 1935)
Summertime, and the living is easy;
Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high.
Oh, your Daddy’s rich, and your Ma is good-lookin’,
So hush, little baby, don’t you cry.

Limerick Adaptation (Minor changes in scanning needed)
Summer guy, lived on the isle of Nantucket:
All his cash he stuffed in a bucket to hide,
Til his daughter Nan / Ran away with a Mande
And as for the bucket, “She took it!”, he cried.

Hotlink to "Singable Limerick-Medley #27: AN ICELANDIC SUMMERTIME SAGA"   


3. "HOME ON THE RANGE" (U.S., ‘traditional’, 1872)
Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play,
Where seldom is heard / a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Limerick Adaptation (Minor changes)
A cowboy came west from Nantucket, invested
His cash in a saddle and bucket;
Sad, his daughter named Nan / Rode away with a ranch-hand
And as for the saddle – Nan took it.

Hotlink to "Singable Limerick-Medley #21: "FIRST YEAR ON THE RANGE (reflections on President Trump's first year)".


4. "WAVES OF THE DANUBE"  ('traditional' Romanian waltz 1880, popularized as "The ANNIVERSARY SONG" by Al Jolson, 1946)
Oh, * * * how we danced * * *
On the night * * * we were wed * * *
We vowed * * * / our true love * * *
Though a word *** wasn’t said.

Limerick Adaptation (Minor changes)
The sad story of Stan from Nantucket,
Who stowed cash and stash in a bucket:
Hell, his partner named Jan / Ran away with friend Anne.
And their plan? Well, Stan’s bucket – they took it.

Hotlink to "Singable Limerick-Medley #24: "AGING IN PLACE (SOMEWHERE)"

 
5. "SANTA LUCIA" (‘traditional’ Italian 1849, also adapted by Elvis Presley 1965)
Sul mare luccica, l’astro d’argento
Placida è l’onda, prospero il vento.
Venite all’agile; / Barchetta mia;
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

Limerick Adaptation (Moderate changes)
There was a foolish man, lived on Nantucket,
Kept cash in his little boat, hid in a bucket.
One day his daughter Nan / Sailed off with an older man,
'Barchetta mia', and bucket -  Nan took it.

Hotlink to lyrics blogpost "FILASTROCCA: PISA'S LEAN TRATTORIA"

6. "OCHI CHORNYE" ("DARK EYES" – ‘traditional’ Russian 1884)
Oh, those gorgeous eyes, dark and glorious eyes
Burn-with-passion eyes, how you hypnotize.
How I adore you so, / How I fear you though
Since I say you glow! Now my spirit’s low!

Limerick Adaptation (Moderate changes)
Once was oligarch from Nantucket
Stuck all cash in pail. Tax? He’d duck it.
But his daughter Nan / Had a man with plan --
Informed KGB, then stole bucket.

Hotlink to lyrics blogpost "RUSSIAN HACKING: Red Army Choir Sings Classical Limericks".


7. "ODE TO JOY" ("AN DIE FREUDE"; adapted  by L. von Beethoven 1824 for his Ninth [choral] Symphony from a poem by Friedrich Schiller 1785; designated the Anthem of Europe in 1972.)
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Limerick Adaptation (significant changes)
In a case that Freud had mentioned,
Dean hid fortune in a can.
Daughter Joy found lottery winnings,
Filched Dean's bucket; off she ran.

Hotlink to Wikipedia 'ODE TO JOY'.


8. THE SLOOP ‘JOHN B’ (traditional Bahamian, recorded by Kingston Trio 1958)
Oh, we came on the sloop ‘John B’ – my grandfather and me
‘Round Nassau town we did roam.
Drinkin’ all night, we got into a fight.
Oh, I feel so break-up, I wanna go home.

Limerick Adaptation (significant changes)
My Grandpa felt out of luck; on Nantucket he was stuck,
So credit cards and cash he hid in a pail;
Til his daughter Nan / Rowed off with her man;
They’d plucked Pop's bucket, but now they’re in jail.

Hotlink to Wikipedia 'THE SLOOP JOHN B'.

                                  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

DIRECTION FOR WEB-TRAVELLERS: 

To resume daily titillations on our related blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 to the present. (As of September 2023, there are over 1200 unique entries available on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.) The 'Daily' format also has the advantage of including some videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.

Nurse-Verse: PATIENTS and their MALADIES, part #1

 

Coaster for a medical school reunion,
University of Toronto.

SATIRE COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, September 2018 (original posting February 2019). This group of terse verses has also been published at OEDILF.com.  

CURRENT CONTENTS

Amblyopia

BPH (benign prostatic hypertrophy)

Brain symptoms (post-concussion)

Common cold

Conn's syndrome (aldosterone excess) 

Claudication

Diabetes insipidus

Dyspareunia

(for continuation, see the link below)

Authors' Note: 

pas-de-deux: a term, originating in French, for a balletic performance with two dancers, often moving in unison

Amblyopia includes a number of conditions in which the single affected eye provides less useful information to the brain, resulting in suppression of that information in comparison to that from the more normal eye. Double vision or strabismus (crossed-eyes) from weakened eye muscles on the one side is a common cause. When strabismus is relatively minor, the persistence of two discordant images under certain conditions with resulting double vision, may be disconcerting to the adult patient. Reduced lighting, head position and fatigue may enhance the problem, but corrective prismatic lenses may help in reachieving integrated binocular vision.

Authors' Notes: 

-trophy: a Greek suffix, as in hypertrophy, atrophy or dystrophy, derived from trophe (nourishment)

trophy: a decorated cup or other prize, from the Greek root tropaion, a rout or victory.

  The author has had first-hand experience of these unpleasant symptoms. In fact, despite the comment in the verse, having BPH does not eliminate the chance of also having cancer. Consult your physician; they will likely do tests to ensure that cancer is not also present.

Authors' Note:  In American football, 'rushing' means running the ball after starting behind the line of scrimmage, not including forward passes. The play continues until the player carrying the ball, usually a backfielder, is tackled.

Concussion, as a medical term describing brain trauma, is discussed by SheilaB here. The above verse deals primarily with the delayed effects of multiple brain concussive injuries. See also chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE.

Authors' Note: Reducing interpersonal contact still provides the best defence against the common cold (coryza). 

Authors' Note:  High blood pressure (hypertension), most commonly has no definable cause. Rarely, there is a relatively fixed and excessive production of aldosterone, a hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal glands to regulate the exchange of sodium and potassium in the kidney. The medical entity was known historically as Conn's syndrome. The abnormal hormone levels are due to an overgrowth of well-differentiated adrenal cells, resulting in either a small localized benign tumor, or to diffuse overgrowth of both glands.

The levels of blood pressure attained are relatively mild, and the local disorder of growth in the adrenal glands does not develop malignant transformation. Nonetheless, the disorder is best treated specifically, sometimes requiring adrenal surgery.

Authors' Note:

claudicant: limping, lame

 Pain occurring in one or both legs with exercise in patients with blockages in their leg arteries is termed 'intermittent claudication', a condition particularly prevalent in longterm smokers. 

 Discarded cigarette butts, which may release toxins injurious to wildlife, have been identified by environmentalists as an ecological hazard. 

Authors' Note:  A deficiency of the pituitary hormone ADH (anti-diuretic hormone, also known as vasopressin), is the most common cause of a spontaneous development of polyuria due to diabetes insipidus. This disorder, characterized by passing of large volumes of urine, is partly compensated by increased thirst. A lack of sugar in the urine despite its large volume would exclude glycosuria due to diabetes mellitus. Radiographic tests done in this situation would definitely include evaluation of the skull base, as a tumour involving the posterior portion of the pituitary gland is a common cause.

Authors' Note: Dyspareunia is the adjective that describes suffering from dyspareunia. That disorder, that may be either transitory or recurrent, is explained elsewhere; please consult as dictionary.

Requests from many health professionals and layfolks as well have come to fruition; there are now two followup posts continuing this theme that you can easily access. Click HERE for part #2. 

Here's a LIST OF LINKS to collections of intriguing poems (over 160 of these!) on medical/dental topics that can now be found on various posts. 

A NOTE FOR WEB-TRAVELLERS:

If you want to resume daily titillations on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 through 2022. (There are now over 900 daily entries on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)

GIORGIO'S SONGS ABOUT DOCTORS and PATIENTS (on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE")

HOTLINKS TO MEDICAL-THEMED SONG-POSTS

Adenoma

Avitaminoses 

As We Nuke It

Flaking Out is What They Do

Mel and His Hernia

Mergerwocky

Off-Patent Drug#19

Prostate Cancer

Reflux Romp

R-I-C-E

The Uniqueness of Nuclear

The Valgus and the Carbuncle

Under My Own Steam part#1

Under My Own Steam part#2

Where Has Neurosyphylis Gone?

Authors' Note:  Patients who have suffered a loss of sense of smell (anosmia) are known as anosmics. Rarely, this sensory disorder along with manifestations in other body functions can be attributed to a marked deficiency of dietary zinc. Whether zinc supplements can help with recovery in well-fed anosmics remains unresolved. The metallic element osmium, which has no known biologic role, is named for the stench emitted by its poisonous tetroxide derivative.