Nurse-Verse: PATIENTS and their MALADIES, part #1

 

Coaster for a medical school reunion,
University of Toronto.

SATIRE COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, September 2018 (original posting February 2019). This group of terse verses has also been published at OEDILF.com.  

CURRENT CONTENTS

Amblyopia

BPH (benign prostatic hypertrophy)

Brain symptoms (post-concussion)

Common cold

Conn's syndrome (aldosterone excess) 

Claudication

Diabetes insipidus

Dyspareunia

(for continuation, see the link below)

Authors' Note: 

pas-de-deux: a term, originating in French, for a balletic performance with two dancers, often moving in unison

Amblyopia includes a number of conditions in which the single affected eye provides less useful information to the brain, resulting in suppression of that information in comparison to that from the more normal eye. Double vision or strabismus (crossed-eyes) from weakened eye muscles on the one side is a common cause. When strabismus is relatively minor, the persistence of two discordant images under certain conditions with resulting double vision, may be disconcerting to the adult patient. Reduced lighting, head position and fatigue may enhance the problem, but corrective prismatic lenses may help in reachieving integrated binocular vision.

Authors' Notes: 

-trophy: a Greek suffix, as in hypertrophy, atrophy or dystrophy, derived from trophe (nourishment)

trophy: a decorated cup or other prize, from the Greek root tropaion, a rout or victory.

  The author has had first-hand experience of these unpleasant symptoms. In fact, despite the comment in the verse, having BPH does not eliminate the chance of also having cancer. Consult your physician; they will likely do tests to ensure that cancer is not also present.

Authors' Note:  In American football, 'rushing' means running the ball after starting behind the line of scrimmage, not including forward passes. The play continues until the player carrying the ball, usually a backfielder, is tackled.

Concussion, as a medical term describing brain trauma, is discussed by SheilaB here. The above verse deals primarily with the delayed effects of multiple brain concussive injuries. See also chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE.

Authors' Note: Reducing interpersonal contact still provides the best defence against the common cold (coryza). 

Authors' Note:  High blood pressure (hypertension), most commonly has no definable cause. Rarely, there is a relatively fixed and excessive production of aldosterone, a hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal glands to regulate the exchange of sodium and potassium in the kidney. The medical entity was known historically as Conn's syndrome. The abnormal hormone levels are due to an overgrowth of well-differentiated adrenal cells, resulting in either a small localized benign tumor, or to diffuse overgrowth of both glands.

The levels of blood pressure attained are relatively mild, and the local disorder of growth in the adrenal glands does not develop malignant transformation. Nonetheless, the disorder is best treated specifically, sometimes requiring adrenal surgery.

Authors' Note:

claudicant: limping, lame

 Pain occurring in one or both legs with exercise in patients with blockages in their leg arteries is termed 'intermittent claudication', a condition particularly prevalent in longterm smokers. 

 Discarded cigarette butts, which may release toxins injurious to wildlife, have been identified by environmentalists as an ecological hazard. 

Authors' Note:  A deficiency of the pituitary hormone ADH (anti-diuretic hormone, also known as vasopressin), is the most common cause of a spontaneous development of polyuria due to diabetes insipidus. This disorder, characterized by passing of large volumes of urine, is partly compensated by increased thirst. A lack of sugar in the urine despite its large volume would exclude glycosuria due to diabetes mellitus. Radiographic tests done in this situation would definitely include evaluation of the skull base, as a tumour involving the posterior portion of the pituitary gland is a common cause.

Authors' Note: Dyspareunia is the adjective that describes suffering from dyspareunia. That disorder, that may be either transitory or recurrent, is explained elsewhere; please consult as dictionary.

Requests from many health professionals and layfolks as well have come to fruition; there are now two followup posts continuing this theme that you can easily access. Click HERE for part #2. 

Here's a LIST OF LINKS to collections of intriguing poems (over 160 of these!) on medical/dental topics that can now be found on various posts. 

A NOTE FOR WEB-TRAVELLERS:

If you want to resume daily titillations on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 through 2022. (There are now over 900 daily entries on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)

GIORGIO'S SONGS ABOUT DOCTORS and PATIENTS (on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE")

HOTLINKS TO MEDICAL-THEMED SONG-POSTS

Adenoma

Avitaminoses 

As We Nuke It

Flaking Out is What They Do

Mel and His Hernia

Mergerwocky

Off-Patent Drug#19

Prostate Cancer

Reflux Romp

R-I-C-E

The Uniqueness of Nuclear

The Valgus and the Carbuncle

Under My Own Steam part#1

Under My Own Steam part#2

Where Has Neurosyphylis Gone?

Authors' Note:  Patients who have suffered a loss of sense of smell (anosmia) are known as anosmics. Rarely, this sensory disorder along with manifestations in other body functions can be attributed to a marked deficiency of dietary zinc. Whether zinc supplements can help with recovery in well-fed anosmics remains unresolved. The metallic element osmium, which has no known biologic role, is named for the stench emitted by its poisonous tetroxide derivative.