Verses That Spurt: GEYSERS

SATIRE COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, September 2018. Today's verses have been edited and selected for publication at OEDILF.com, an online humour dictionary that has accumulated over 100,000 carefully edited limericks. Thanks are due to OEDILF contributing-editor MikeAq who kindly provided permission for linking to one of his related verses (please review this extravaganza at the bottom of this post).

SONGLINK: For those readers who like poetry set to music: You can find lots of singable limerick medleys on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE", such as this recent post. 

By the way, to find more limericks, or any other search target on either of these 2 blogs, use the SEARCH-FUNCTION found at the top of the righthand margin.

Authors' Note:  The geyser (GHIE-zer or GHEE-ser) is an unusual hydrogeologic phenomenon which occurs in volcanic zones where magma (molten lava) is close to the surface, and there is fissuring of rocks due to earthquake faults. Minerals dissolved from adjacent rocks precipitate out, forming a lining for a type of 'plumbing system' in which steam builds up, resulting in regular eruptions of boiling water. Changes in the colour of the swirling hot water in the pool help predict the arrival of the next photogenic discharge. 

 Yellowstone Park, in the American Rockies, is a site of these natural wonders, including the famous geyser ‘Old Faithful’.

Authors' Note: In 1894, the wealthy British distiller, James Craig of Ulster, later Lord Craigavon, purchased from a local Icelandic farmer the land around the iconic geyser, Geysir (or the great Geysir). Fences were erected, and admission charged for a brief period. Several changes in ownership were in fact required, but eventually the site was donated in perpetuity to the Government of Iceland. Lord Craigavon, subsequent to his Icelandic adventures, became the first prime minister of Northern Ireland.

 The geyser spout itself, apart from a single event in the 1930s, has remained dormant since 1916, although adjacent spouts have taken over the fanfare.

Authors' Note: Björg(f.) and Björn(m.) are typical Icelandic names. In Britain, the term geyser, has come to mean a secondary water heater at the point-of-use, e.g. a bathtub. In Iceland, hot water is distributed to all homes as a part of geothermal energy systems; devices to rewarm water at the point of use are not needed, and probably not available.

In North America, such auxiliary plumbing devices are known as ‘tankless water heaters’. 

Björn originally conceived of his gift idea based on occasional offerings of spent hydrogeologic geysers in Icelandic second-hand stores, e.g. the original reliable vent at Geysir which thrilled Victorian tourists has died back, 'replaced' nearby by other vents. The reader is left to judge whether such second-hand devices represent a figment of the author’s imagination or contrived nonsense. 

    

Man-made geyser-like phenomenon
(broken water-main, Mt. Pleasant, S.C.)